Report of 30 July '06
Hello from the Carmel library -
This appears to be testing time. Naren continues to act out w/ aplomb, Navin is not doing as he is told, grades are plummeting, Scott is e-tearing his hair out, and I get email msgs daily (sometimes multiple) which hold no good tidings whatsoever. I get to the computer generally in a good mood, and get this stuff from Chennai, and that's pretty much the end of any good mood. Interestingly, Scott gets no sympathy whatsoever from his aunt, who feels that he now has a fair idea what women go through. I too feel the 3 Weiss men need to work it out, but it ain't happening - and the genial good humor that the men are known for is disintegrating into anger and self-pity. "Circuitry gets rewired in adolescence," said a beloved Chennai neighbor, and that is very true. You fathers (and mothers) out there - please weigh in on this situation for me: I could use the perspective.
This week, also, a couple of incidents happened here that have served to remind me acutely that the work in India is not important to the people who spoke thus. They try to understand it, but in the grand scheme of things, it is not important at all. The quality that made the comments all the more startling was the honesty: I had been aware of the non-importance all along, truly, given the lack of funding (esp from a med school and a residency program both of which strongly emphasised dignified care of the indigent) and that folks simply expected that my work would somehow, mystically, magically, continue in spite of the fact that my annual income is $0. However, being told it was brutal. I missed Scott's perspective at that point, and was sitting in a movie ("Miami Vice") when I felt my jaw start to clench and the tears start to run out. The movie was dreadful, also, so part of the tears were for that, maybe, but part of it was most definitely my own share of self-pity.
And then, one of my best friends emailed me to speak of being HIV+. I appreciated the courage in sharing this, and was honored at the confidence that I would keep the secret. I emailed the friend back, and spoke of the news, and what I thought, and I think that this friend has so much more to deal with than I do. BUT - the disease now has some fine meds to keep it at bay, and good health as an asset is in my friend's future.
I also got some perspective from the 50+ yo patient who came in w/ a urinary tract infection. Her right hand and leg are unable to function, the residuals from a childhood attack of meningitis. She said Billy, the 8 yo boy next door, had told her parents that he would make their 6 yo walk, and walk she did. Also rode a bike, at which point Billy told her parents, "Now we'll never keep track of her!" Billy went into the Navy, and when my patient was 18, asked her to marry him. They married, and had 2 kids, and were very happy, and then Billy got cancer and died. My patient tried to kill herself after that by shooting herself in the chest, but missed her heart. She has a grandchild now, and feels that life is worth living, thank goodness. The story was lovely, tho', and I felt very happy that the little disabled girl had a friend who cared so much about her that he stayed by her, and stayed by her through much of her life. I like the romance of it, and the goodness it shows of people's hearts.
Speaking of which, I am now staying w/ 2 of the finest: Jeremy Kirk (a friend from residency days) and his girlfriend, Ali. We have talked, they have taken me out to eat, put me up in their fine home, Ali has hung out w/ me and both Jeremy and Ali have shown that the rough times in their pasts have only served to make them the gregarious, generous, warm-hearted people that they are. Their presence is like salve, and I have hugely appreciated that this week.
I saw Miami Vice as stated, expecting a lot of Foxx and Farrell and director Michael Mann, but it was so bad; neither F acted very much. Gong Li ("Memoirs of a Geisha") stole the show from right under the big names and she was luminous. Ali and I saw "Clerks 2" and the vulgarity was bloody annoying, but I have to say the acting and the premise there were infinitely better than the prior movie.
Let me wind up. I leave here on the 17th. We donated our old vehicle in Chennai to the Banyan and I got wonderfully gracious notes from them, including one passing on the gratitude and regards of all the drivers. It is a memorable msg, and I have saved it. The B is a fine place to be. Check it out: www.thebanyan.org.
Unw -
Renu
This appears to be testing time. Naren continues to act out w/ aplomb, Navin is not doing as he is told, grades are plummeting, Scott is e-tearing his hair out, and I get email msgs daily (sometimes multiple) which hold no good tidings whatsoever. I get to the computer generally in a good mood, and get this stuff from Chennai, and that's pretty much the end of any good mood. Interestingly, Scott gets no sympathy whatsoever from his aunt, who feels that he now has a fair idea what women go through. I too feel the 3 Weiss men need to work it out, but it ain't happening - and the genial good humor that the men are known for is disintegrating into anger and self-pity. "Circuitry gets rewired in adolescence," said a beloved Chennai neighbor, and that is very true. You fathers (and mothers) out there - please weigh in on this situation for me: I could use the perspective.
This week, also, a couple of incidents happened here that have served to remind me acutely that the work in India is not important to the people who spoke thus. They try to understand it, but in the grand scheme of things, it is not important at all. The quality that made the comments all the more startling was the honesty: I had been aware of the non-importance all along, truly, given the lack of funding (esp from a med school and a residency program both of which strongly emphasised dignified care of the indigent) and that folks simply expected that my work would somehow, mystically, magically, continue in spite of the fact that my annual income is $0. However, being told it was brutal. I missed Scott's perspective at that point, and was sitting in a movie ("Miami Vice") when I felt my jaw start to clench and the tears start to run out. The movie was dreadful, also, so part of the tears were for that, maybe, but part of it was most definitely my own share of self-pity.
And then, one of my best friends emailed me to speak of being HIV+. I appreciated the courage in sharing this, and was honored at the confidence that I would keep the secret. I emailed the friend back, and spoke of the news, and what I thought, and I think that this friend has so much more to deal with than I do. BUT - the disease now has some fine meds to keep it at bay, and good health as an asset is in my friend's future.
I also got some perspective from the 50+ yo patient who came in w/ a urinary tract infection. Her right hand and leg are unable to function, the residuals from a childhood attack of meningitis. She said Billy, the 8 yo boy next door, had told her parents that he would make their 6 yo walk, and walk she did. Also rode a bike, at which point Billy told her parents, "Now we'll never keep track of her!" Billy went into the Navy, and when my patient was 18, asked her to marry him. They married, and had 2 kids, and were very happy, and then Billy got cancer and died. My patient tried to kill herself after that by shooting herself in the chest, but missed her heart. She has a grandchild now, and feels that life is worth living, thank goodness. The story was lovely, tho', and I felt very happy that the little disabled girl had a friend who cared so much about her that he stayed by her, and stayed by her through much of her life. I like the romance of it, and the goodness it shows of people's hearts.
Speaking of which, I am now staying w/ 2 of the finest: Jeremy Kirk (a friend from residency days) and his girlfriend, Ali. We have talked, they have taken me out to eat, put me up in their fine home, Ali has hung out w/ me and both Jeremy and Ali have shown that the rough times in their pasts have only served to make them the gregarious, generous, warm-hearted people that they are. Their presence is like salve, and I have hugely appreciated that this week.
I saw Miami Vice as stated, expecting a lot of Foxx and Farrell and director Michael Mann, but it was so bad; neither F acted very much. Gong Li ("Memoirs of a Geisha") stole the show from right under the big names and she was luminous. Ali and I saw "Clerks 2" and the vulgarity was bloody annoying, but I have to say the acting and the premise there were infinitely better than the prior movie.
Let me wind up. I leave here on the 17th. We donated our old vehicle in Chennai to the Banyan and I got wonderfully gracious notes from them, including one passing on the gratitude and regards of all the drivers. It is a memorable msg, and I have saved it. The B is a fine place to be. Check it out: www.thebanyan.org.
Unw -
Renu
posted by Renu Weiss at
12:11 PM
1 Comments:
I was a rotter in my teens. Bad, bad boy, and i'm only grateful that my folks didn't realize the extent of my (mostly self-directed) depravity. This certainly contributed to my late entry into career-land, but also adds to my understanding of human nature--or so i'd like to think. Even without knowing fully what i was into, my parents certainly lost sleep for several years--shades of infancy, i suppose, except this time they kept their ears open for sounds of the garage door squeaking open or the like.
Advice? Ha. But I can sympathize.
Well, ok, some advice. Some of my earlier teen years were saved by our parents' negotiating a meeting between my to-be best friend and myself. Luck made him a solid character, as naive as myself in the underbelly of modern life, and we naively kept out of harms way together for a few years, at least.
And, i think the most likely saving grace for any young would-be ruffian is having a solid memory of solid parents. Once they realize that parents do not equal the unjust system, they'll come back and fight at your side rather than against you.
Corny enough?
greg
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Anonymous, at 30/7/06 6:19 PM
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