Renu's Week

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Report of 13 Jan 2011

Hello from Chennai -

The blog is getting a bit erratic, isn't it. Scott is away in Trivandrum, Kerala, with the computer, so access is interrupted. But I'll try to keep up.

"Days off work" I thought, but days off they ain't. Lots to be done, academics to be kept up with, my professional journals to be read. As Navin worked on a project to be submitted for a grade, I noticed that I was getting a bit obsessed with ensuring a good job. Then I backed off - what he sows, he reaps. Naren has been roped in to assist, because the boys tend to listen to each other more. When Naren got into a spot of trouble last year, Navin eloquently argued his case, diminishing the former's punishment. When Navin had a vat of studying to complete, before our return from Bhopal, it was Naren who coaxed him to "finish 2 pages before the plane takes off, because it's just sitting on the runway now."

My aunt, my mother's older sister in Mysore, has the beginnings of dementia: gets lost going to or from the store, does not remember that her parents are not living, does not know me. That is sad to see. As I quizzed her extensively, trying to judge if this was dementia or just loss of memory, she started to get a tad defensive about her memory lapses. My aunt is a fiery one: when she worked as a hospital administrator for one of the biggest hospitals in Delhi, she noticed that a hospitalised minister (politician) was dipping into the poor fund for his treatment. This fund was reserved to treat impoverished patients. My aunt made this public and resigned; it made big news, and she got marriage proposals (in her 50's) from as far away as Australia. She had already chosen not to marry ("Chee, who can spend her whole life staring at one man's face?"), moved to Mysore and indulged her love of reading and cards (rummy for money was a favorite). I am actually surprised that my aunt has been afflicted with dementia, because she was a voracious reader and kept her intellect sharp; however, maybe living alone and losing 2 of her closest siblings caused more and more reticence. My cousin, Sheila (my mother's brother's daughter - our parents did not speak to each other as my mother married outside the community), and I are in discussions about this aunt - a fairly beloved figure as she is affectionate, loving and chose to stay out of the gossip that is endemic in the Coorgi community (and our family).

Dementia is a cruel animal. At one point during my training at St. V, our inpatient team cared for an older lady with it; she was hospitalised for pneumonia. She recovered from the pneumonia, and one day, in her daily session with the physical therapist, her daughter walked in; when the physio asked the patient who that was, she answered, "That's my daughter." The daughter was elated, because the mother had not recognised her for years. I think the recognition was transient, but it made the daughter's day, and consequently, ours.

Lots of little illnesses around our apartment, also. All treatable.

My father was awarded the Lifetime Achievement award in plastic surgery from the Dr. MGR Medical University here, and came to Chennai last week. I don't know what the big deal is with awards, but we went for the ceremony and it was nice: it was combined with this year's graduation and it was a treat to see the senses of achievement in the graduates and prize-winners. We hosted a dinner at our house for the family, and Anu and family, and Vinu, Tina and Ahana came. Tina made some wonderful fish cutlets (patties), which all enjoyed, and some banana cake, which was also yummy. I tell you, it's awfully nice when folks bring food to share - especially tasty stuff. It was nice to have the family together, we missed Susan at this time, and my Dad was happy at the get-together.

Navin and I saw "Fair Game," and that prompted a lot of discussion. Indian school-children are well-informed and opinionated, and that makes for some lively conversation. Naren came last night to spend the night, and the flick has been recommended to him.

Scott's grandmother died last week and the funeral was yesterday. I remember how warmly she welcomed me into the family, and am glad the passing was peaceful.

Unw -

r

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