Report of 9 Oct '05
Hello from the peace and quiet of my house -
All 3 Weiss men are sleeping, the stray dogs are barking away outside, our laundry is drying on our balcony (dryers are not cost-effective here, why pay for 'em when the abundant sunlight will do the job for free?) and soon the routine of the day will begin - but not before I pour my heart out over email.
The week has been good. Patients continue to heal well at the Banyan. The young woman studying law, UM, returned to me with an upset stomach. It was somewhat transient, but she was leaving for Madurai to write her final law exams and I preferred to treat her with an extended course of antibiotics, so started treatment for amoebiasis and gave her pills to ease her belly pain. I had wanted her to have yogurt (curds) with her lunch and dinner; curds here are legendary for calming bellies. She had asked for 'em, and folks had given her grief, including a comment from a fellow patient serving the meal: "Hey, lawyer!" This was intended to construe arrogance on UM's part, but Leela and I told her she indeed was almost a lawyer, there was nothing but pride in her accomplishment when we heard that comment and that we wished her the very best in her upcoming exams. I like this young woman a lot, and feel very proud of her, and the Banyan for helping her to continue her studies and achieve her dream in spite of her tough life. On reading over her file, I found that her stepmother and she had not got along at all, she had been sent away to college, her father had told her not to return but to make something of herself. She had stood second in her high school in the very rigorous 12th grade board exams, and I was very pleased to see that. Again, I felt very fortunate that I was welcome in my house, had not been aborted due to my gender, and was encouraged to study, play basketball and cricket, climb trees and the wall surrounding our house, go overseas and do whatever the heck I felt like doing.
The sick room is reserved for the sick. There was a patient there, V, who had nothing but psychiatric issues and would cry or whine all day. This was just a tad disruptive. Our able psychiatrist already had her on psychiatric medication, and deemed her attention-seeking. I wanted her shifted out of the sick room to the dorm as she had no medical issues, he concurred and so did the other doctor treating her. The social worker had her own agenda and V continued in the sick room, not needing any treatment by the physicians and continuing to cry and moan all day except when she slept which was a blessed relief. I wanted to talk to the social worker, but she was at a patient's village, and I merely wrote on the chart that 3 doctors had wanted V sent to the dorm and why was she then still in the sick room? V was in the dorm the next time I went there and I was very relieved. I don't often flex my professional muscle, but felt the dire need to do so here.
The son of one of our patients committed suicide. The Banyan social workers took the patient to her village. I was very sorry to hear the news and could only imagine the grief the patient felt - from one mother to another. The Banyan continues to amaze me with its multifarious activities, all of which benefit those who are marginalised by the rest of us in society. I got a chance to see the Banyan in action in the community when Scott, Navin and I were heading to a bookstore after dropping Naren at a party. A young well-dressed man was sitting by the roadside w/ an old woman who was very scantily clad, gaunt and looking ill. I asked Scott to pls turn the car around, we headed over to them and found that the lady was a bit ill and had been wandering around a busy street; she spoke only Telugu. Vimal, the young man, and I then called everyone at the Banyan and there is an onerous new process for picking up folks from the street, but the B managed to get there in an hour. In the interim, we gave the lady water, Scott and Navin were dispatched to buy some cookies (no restaurants nearby for other food) and then we discovered the lady had no teeth. So much for the cookies. As soon as N and S got back with the food, they gave it to the lady, she looked at it and gestured to Navin, wanting the child to have some first. Boy, she darn near melted my heart. I gave him a little bit (as she wouldn't have been happy otherwise), and handed her the rest, and she gave some to Vimal. More heart-melting. She packed the food back in the bag and we determined that she was not hungry. When the B got there, I handed over a note w/ the meds that I wanted her started on (she had a wracking cough) and she got into the vehicle willingly enough. Perhaps she, and others like her who are picked up on the street, knew from the eyes of the pick-up crew that they would not harm her: what a great thing this is, esp for a woman.
Naren and Navin discussed this incident later. To the boys' great credit, when we stop for things like this, neither of them ever says, "Well, can we go now?" They assess the situation and know how it will flow; sometimes they exhibit very adult and considerate behavior, which I am extremely grateful for. Navin told Naren how nice Vimal was; indeed, he was. Scott, V and I discussed working for the destitute. Vimal studies economics at a very good college here, Loyola, and elected not to study social work because he says though working for the destitute is his goal, all decisions there are run by money. Oh yes, they are. When we discussed my lack of funding and the finite resources the world has (at least the world I know), I didn't for one minute feel that that would impede my work. Thank goodness for folks like Vimal and Scott, who are much more pragmatic in money matters.
I am now one of the coaches for Naren's basketball team. I went for the 1st game of this season which ended in a score of 77-11, and could barely stand watching the kids flout every tenet of good play for the 3rd year in a row. When I played in college, we did not have a coach but were schooled by a team-mate, Kalpana, who is one of my best friends and a brilliant player who went on to play for the state (a tremendous accomplishment). We did win the championship under her tutelage and I so, so love the game that I could not sit still for another minute watching the Abacus team do flashy behind the back passes straight into the opponent's hands, fling 3-pointers from half-court without dashing for the rebound and not dribbling when they could. So I marched into school the following day and started putting the kids through the basics. They do have a part-time coach, but Naren said he doesn't do much. Naren said he does get embarrassed when one of his parents is involved in teaching at the school, but knew I would not care and so has resigned himself to being coached. (He and I chuckled about this.) At the 2nd game, the team played far less hastily, did pass, dribble, and defend better. The score was 80-19 and while Abacus's score was 0 for the first several minutes, they did perk up and play using some fundamentals. That was enough for me. There is abundant talent here. In case any of you is expecting some brilliant result a la "Hoosiers," let me assure you that ain't about to happen, at least not this season. This is an overprivileged team (most parents are comfortably off) which has never been coached.
Since I was at the match, a friend looked after tutoring. The kids do come and continue to enjoy it. Scott, Naren, Navin and I went to a traditional dance evening yesterday. We are celebrating "Navarathri," the triumph of good over evil. In Gujarat, this is celebrated with a dance with sticks in the hand - "Dandiya Raas" (or "Kolattam" in Tamil). None of the Weiss men likes to dance as much as I do, but they obliged me a bit. N and N cut the rug at home, but not in public. Scott, who absolutely hates to dance, did the dandiya dance for my sake and we (I?) had great fun. The food was awesome and we pigged out before heading home, but not before Naren had an eyeful of the lovely young teenage girls in beautifully colored, sequined traditional clothes all whirling to the pulse-pounding, rhythmic folk music.
When we were speaking with Vimal and later thinking of things we enjoyed, I found that one of my joys was our "speaking tour" of the U.S. this year. It was such a blast talking of the work here and meeting so many wonderful people who seemed interested in it and who are now on our email list. I would do it again in a flash, so if any of you knows of an opportunity, pls tell me.
Kasha Newcomb, Scott's colleague's Mom from Michigan, landed in Bangalore with a heap of chocolate for us. This was so extremely kind, esp to lug it all the way when she's on holiday, and right when we are running very low on our chocolate stash. She is a great lady w/ a wonderful sense of humor and we are grateful to have made her acquaintance, not just for the chocolate (though of course that helps :) ). Thank you, Kasha!
"There is no love sincerer than the love of food." - Bernard Shaw
"There is only one difference between a long life and a good dinner: that, in the dinner, the sweets come last." - Robert Louis Stevenson
Unw (Until next week) -
Renu
All 3 Weiss men are sleeping, the stray dogs are barking away outside, our laundry is drying on our balcony (dryers are not cost-effective here, why pay for 'em when the abundant sunlight will do the job for free?) and soon the routine of the day will begin - but not before I pour my heart out over email.
The week has been good. Patients continue to heal well at the Banyan. The young woman studying law, UM, returned to me with an upset stomach. It was somewhat transient, but she was leaving for Madurai to write her final law exams and I preferred to treat her with an extended course of antibiotics, so started treatment for amoebiasis and gave her pills to ease her belly pain. I had wanted her to have yogurt (curds) with her lunch and dinner; curds here are legendary for calming bellies. She had asked for 'em, and folks had given her grief, including a comment from a fellow patient serving the meal: "Hey, lawyer!" This was intended to construe arrogance on UM's part, but Leela and I told her she indeed was almost a lawyer, there was nothing but pride in her accomplishment when we heard that comment and that we wished her the very best in her upcoming exams. I like this young woman a lot, and feel very proud of her, and the Banyan for helping her to continue her studies and achieve her dream in spite of her tough life. On reading over her file, I found that her stepmother and she had not got along at all, she had been sent away to college, her father had told her not to return but to make something of herself. She had stood second in her high school in the very rigorous 12th grade board exams, and I was very pleased to see that. Again, I felt very fortunate that I was welcome in my house, had not been aborted due to my gender, and was encouraged to study, play basketball and cricket, climb trees and the wall surrounding our house, go overseas and do whatever the heck I felt like doing.
The sick room is reserved for the sick. There was a patient there, V, who had nothing but psychiatric issues and would cry or whine all day. This was just a tad disruptive. Our able psychiatrist already had her on psychiatric medication, and deemed her attention-seeking. I wanted her shifted out of the sick room to the dorm as she had no medical issues, he concurred and so did the other doctor treating her. The social worker had her own agenda and V continued in the sick room, not needing any treatment by the physicians and continuing to cry and moan all day except when she slept which was a blessed relief. I wanted to talk to the social worker, but she was at a patient's village, and I merely wrote on the chart that 3 doctors had wanted V sent to the dorm and why was she then still in the sick room? V was in the dorm the next time I went there and I was very relieved. I don't often flex my professional muscle, but felt the dire need to do so here.
The son of one of our patients committed suicide. The Banyan social workers took the patient to her village. I was very sorry to hear the news and could only imagine the grief the patient felt - from one mother to another. The Banyan continues to amaze me with its multifarious activities, all of which benefit those who are marginalised by the rest of us in society. I got a chance to see the Banyan in action in the community when Scott, Navin and I were heading to a bookstore after dropping Naren at a party. A young well-dressed man was sitting by the roadside w/ an old woman who was very scantily clad, gaunt and looking ill. I asked Scott to pls turn the car around, we headed over to them and found that the lady was a bit ill and had been wandering around a busy street; she spoke only Telugu. Vimal, the young man, and I then called everyone at the Banyan and there is an onerous new process for picking up folks from the street, but the B managed to get there in an hour. In the interim, we gave the lady water, Scott and Navin were dispatched to buy some cookies (no restaurants nearby for other food) and then we discovered the lady had no teeth. So much for the cookies. As soon as N and S got back with the food, they gave it to the lady, she looked at it and gestured to Navin, wanting the child to have some first. Boy, she darn near melted my heart. I gave him a little bit (as she wouldn't have been happy otherwise), and handed her the rest, and she gave some to Vimal. More heart-melting. She packed the food back in the bag and we determined that she was not hungry. When the B got there, I handed over a note w/ the meds that I wanted her started on (she had a wracking cough) and she got into the vehicle willingly enough. Perhaps she, and others like her who are picked up on the street, knew from the eyes of the pick-up crew that they would not harm her: what a great thing this is, esp for a woman.
Naren and Navin discussed this incident later. To the boys' great credit, when we stop for things like this, neither of them ever says, "Well, can we go now?" They assess the situation and know how it will flow; sometimes they exhibit very adult and considerate behavior, which I am extremely grateful for. Navin told Naren how nice Vimal was; indeed, he was. Scott, V and I discussed working for the destitute. Vimal studies economics at a very good college here, Loyola, and elected not to study social work because he says though working for the destitute is his goal, all decisions there are run by money. Oh yes, they are. When we discussed my lack of funding and the finite resources the world has (at least the world I know), I didn't for one minute feel that that would impede my work. Thank goodness for folks like Vimal and Scott, who are much more pragmatic in money matters.
I am now one of the coaches for Naren's basketball team. I went for the 1st game of this season which ended in a score of 77-11, and could barely stand watching the kids flout every tenet of good play for the 3rd year in a row. When I played in college, we did not have a coach but were schooled by a team-mate, Kalpana, who is one of my best friends and a brilliant player who went on to play for the state (a tremendous accomplishment). We did win the championship under her tutelage and I so, so love the game that I could not sit still for another minute watching the Abacus team do flashy behind the back passes straight into the opponent's hands, fling 3-pointers from half-court without dashing for the rebound and not dribbling when they could. So I marched into school the following day and started putting the kids through the basics. They do have a part-time coach, but Naren said he doesn't do much. Naren said he does get embarrassed when one of his parents is involved in teaching at the school, but knew I would not care and so has resigned himself to being coached. (He and I chuckled about this.) At the 2nd game, the team played far less hastily, did pass, dribble, and defend better. The score was 80-19 and while Abacus's score was 0 for the first several minutes, they did perk up and play using some fundamentals. That was enough for me. There is abundant talent here. In case any of you is expecting some brilliant result a la "Hoosiers," let me assure you that ain't about to happen, at least not this season. This is an overprivileged team (most parents are comfortably off) which has never been coached.
Since I was at the match, a friend looked after tutoring. The kids do come and continue to enjoy it. Scott, Naren, Navin and I went to a traditional dance evening yesterday. We are celebrating "Navarathri," the triumph of good over evil. In Gujarat, this is celebrated with a dance with sticks in the hand - "Dandiya Raas" (or "Kolattam" in Tamil). None of the Weiss men likes to dance as much as I do, but they obliged me a bit. N and N cut the rug at home, but not in public. Scott, who absolutely hates to dance, did the dandiya dance for my sake and we (I?) had great fun. The food was awesome and we pigged out before heading home, but not before Naren had an eyeful of the lovely young teenage girls in beautifully colored, sequined traditional clothes all whirling to the pulse-pounding, rhythmic folk music.
When we were speaking with Vimal and later thinking of things we enjoyed, I found that one of my joys was our "speaking tour" of the U.S. this year. It was such a blast talking of the work here and meeting so many wonderful people who seemed interested in it and who are now on our email list. I would do it again in a flash, so if any of you knows of an opportunity, pls tell me.
Kasha Newcomb, Scott's colleague's Mom from Michigan, landed in Bangalore with a heap of chocolate for us. This was so extremely kind, esp to lug it all the way when she's on holiday, and right when we are running very low on our chocolate stash. She is a great lady w/ a wonderful sense of humor and we are grateful to have made her acquaintance, not just for the chocolate (though of course that helps :) ). Thank you, Kasha!
"There is no love sincerer than the love of food." - Bernard Shaw
"There is only one difference between a long life and a good dinner: that, in the dinner, the sweets come last." - Robert Louis Stevenson
Unw (Until next week) -
Renu
posted by Renu Weiss at
8:46 PM
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