Report of 12 Nov '06
Good day from Chennai -
The sun is streaming on our balcony, the wet and thirsty towels are now drying, our living room curtains (made by the magnificent women of the Banyan) are fluttering in the breeze and we will soon head down to the first floor from our 6th floor to have biryani (pilaf) at a friend's place.
Ms. M, the lady w/ the gash on her butt and non-functional left leg, has been evaluated by the physio and we have various options now - crutches; an orthotic device maybe; or amputate part of the leg and use a prosthesis. In our grand enthusiasm, we overlooked one aspect which Ms. M made certain to tell us: she does not want a change. She states she's been on her butt her whole life, likes this, did not try the crutches and will not hear of any of *our* magnanimous (!) attempts to improve *her* life. This is quite a lesson to me, that a well-meaning medical endeavor might not be what the patient wants. The social workers are going to have many sessions w/ Ms. M to find out her mindset and get her to consider her options; we shall see.
I once had a patient when I was a resident in Indy who came in w/ respiratory difficulty, ended up testing + for HIV and the senior physicians wanted him to stay for treatment and put the fear of the illness in him w/ dire forecasts. The man told me he wanted to leave, go to his wife's native Hawaii and die on the beach. This sounded good, actually; I told him the pros and cons of this move, gave him my card and the patient signed out AMA (Against Medical Advice), and then I headed off to face my senior colleagues who heard this outcome resignedly. The pt later sent me a lovely thank-you card, and attached his hospital bracelet, thanking me for not treating him as a number. This was one of the most memorable patients of my training (written appreciation from patients is very rare in my experience), and I saved the card for Scott to see but it got thrown out. Story of our lives, really.
The folks at the veg market are well. This is a great relief for me, because w/ the endless monsoon, waterborne illnesses are legion.
We have had 4 PTA meetings last week w/ our sons' teachers, all of whom have said "He can do better." Private tutoring is big business in India and we have appointed private tutors for Naren (might need to do so when Navin is in 10th grade as a gigantic exam looms at the end of it). My sister, Anu, came up last night and Scott and I took her out for a simple dinner; we commiserated on raising teenagers and their academic lives. It was a spectacular evening, w/ lots and lots of laughter which Scott and I desperately needed, and we lingered over the chocolate truffle cake until the waiter came up repeatedly (wanting our table).
The kids did not tutor last week as we were in meetings.
We had an international school group from Pune visit the B to work for a week and it was headed by Story (family name apparently) and Ron Schildge from the U.S. This young couple was delightful, and we invited the whole mob (9 students + 2 teachers) over for a simple meal; all of us enjoyed the evening interacting w/ guests from all over the world. N and N had fun hanging out w/ fellow teenagers. Story mentioned that Indian girls are healthier (emotionally and mentally), compared to young American women whose focus is on boys, diets and trying to achieve an impossible physical appearance; I imagine that is the truth, the giant focus on the opposite sex here is tempered by several other distractions such as academics, social service, sports and an increased awareness of the rest of the world.
"If any of us had a child that we thought was as bad as we know we are, we would have cause to start to worry." - Will Rogers
Unw -
Renu
The sun is streaming on our balcony, the wet and thirsty towels are now drying, our living room curtains (made by the magnificent women of the Banyan) are fluttering in the breeze and we will soon head down to the first floor from our 6th floor to have biryani (pilaf) at a friend's place.
Ms. M, the lady w/ the gash on her butt and non-functional left leg, has been evaluated by the physio and we have various options now - crutches; an orthotic device maybe; or amputate part of the leg and use a prosthesis. In our grand enthusiasm, we overlooked one aspect which Ms. M made certain to tell us: she does not want a change. She states she's been on her butt her whole life, likes this, did not try the crutches and will not hear of any of *our* magnanimous (!) attempts to improve *her* life. This is quite a lesson to me, that a well-meaning medical endeavor might not be what the patient wants. The social workers are going to have many sessions w/ Ms. M to find out her mindset and get her to consider her options; we shall see.
I once had a patient when I was a resident in Indy who came in w/ respiratory difficulty, ended up testing + for HIV and the senior physicians wanted him to stay for treatment and put the fear of the illness in him w/ dire forecasts. The man told me he wanted to leave, go to his wife's native Hawaii and die on the beach. This sounded good, actually; I told him the pros and cons of this move, gave him my card and the patient signed out AMA (Against Medical Advice), and then I headed off to face my senior colleagues who heard this outcome resignedly. The pt later sent me a lovely thank-you card, and attached his hospital bracelet, thanking me for not treating him as a number. This was one of the most memorable patients of my training (written appreciation from patients is very rare in my experience), and I saved the card for Scott to see but it got thrown out. Story of our lives, really.
The folks at the veg market are well. This is a great relief for me, because w/ the endless monsoon, waterborne illnesses are legion.
We have had 4 PTA meetings last week w/ our sons' teachers, all of whom have said "He can do better." Private tutoring is big business in India and we have appointed private tutors for Naren (might need to do so when Navin is in 10th grade as a gigantic exam looms at the end of it). My sister, Anu, came up last night and Scott and I took her out for a simple dinner; we commiserated on raising teenagers and their academic lives. It was a spectacular evening, w/ lots and lots of laughter which Scott and I desperately needed, and we lingered over the chocolate truffle cake until the waiter came up repeatedly (wanting our table).
The kids did not tutor last week as we were in meetings.
We had an international school group from Pune visit the B to work for a week and it was headed by Story (family name apparently) and Ron Schildge from the U.S. This young couple was delightful, and we invited the whole mob (9 students + 2 teachers) over for a simple meal; all of us enjoyed the evening interacting w/ guests from all over the world. N and N had fun hanging out w/ fellow teenagers. Story mentioned that Indian girls are healthier (emotionally and mentally), compared to young American women whose focus is on boys, diets and trying to achieve an impossible physical appearance; I imagine that is the truth, the giant focus on the opposite sex here is tempered by several other distractions such as academics, social service, sports and an increased awareness of the rest of the world.
"If any of us had a child that we thought was as bad as we know we are, we would have cause to start to worry." - Will Rogers
Unw -
Renu
posted by Renu Weiss at
11:11 PM
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